I wanted to share this article I recently wrote on how pets help children develop compassion. I just think as a mother, pet parent and animal advocate, this is important information to share. Pets impact our lives in so many meaningful ways and with the state of our world at the current moment, our children need “hands on” experience with developing skills in compassion. And I do believe it is a skill to be developed much like many other skills.
Articles and research abound on the multitude of ways pets can help teach responsibility to children and how having pets in the home can actually improve a child’s health and mental well-being.
One thing you don’t hear as much about though and is equally important is how pets can help develop compassion in children. In a time when children are being raised in a self-absorbed world and most everyone is walking through life with their heads down, consuming the latest technological gadget, compassion for others can sometimes get lost by the wayside.
Although well-meaning parents may speak to their children about the importance of caring for others and even make a point of showing compassion and care by example, sometimes the best way for our children to learn is by actual “hands-on” experience. That’s where having pets can possibly be the best teaching tool available.
- Pets demonstrate to a child that sometimes we have to put our immediate needs and wants behind another who cannot do for themselves.
My 14 year old daughter begged literally for months for a puppy. My husband and I finally agreed to add a puppy to our family with the understanding that she would be responsible for feeding the puppy every day. Of course, she enthusiastically agreed. In the beginning, as it usually goes, she eagerly got up every morning a little earlier than usual so she would have time to prepare the puppy’s food before getting ready and dressed for school. After a few weeks, the novelty of having the puppy started wearing off a little and she started missing her extra bit of sleep in the mornings. Of course, she just expected that I would take over the chore. But when I explained that I was not doing it; this was something she had agreed to do, she quickly realized that she really had no choice. The puppy obviously could not feed herself so my daughter really had no other choice but to plan accordingly, get up a little earlier and feed the puppy every morning. Once it became routine, my daughter adjusted and they have developed such a beautiful and strong relationship with each other.
- You can’t just expect that trust and forgiveness are going to be freely given. You have to earn it.
We also have two rescue cats in our family. Our oldest cat, Oliver, was just 8 weeks old when we adopted him. At the time, our daughter was about four years old. She was still learning the concept of “being gentle” with the pets. She would vigorously pat their heads or attempt picking them up around their necks or by their legs. I of course would always keep a close eye on her when she was around the animals and would coach her through picking them up or rubbing them; always reminding her to be gentle. As a result, however, our baby kitten, Oliver, was absolutely terrified of her; and with good reason. He was a sweet, cuddly, cute kitten and my daughter was constantly trying to pick him up and kiss him. Due to her abrasive nature, he would always hide or run from her. Even a few years down the road, when she had learned to properly handle the pets, he was still apprehensive around her. This of course upset her. I had to explain that Oliver remembered from an early age that she was rough and he has just never really recovered from that. It took quite a few years for him to begin trusting her but it did eventually happen and he now will freely curl up on her lap and nudge her legs for a quick rub. My daughter learned that even though she never meant him any harm, animals, just like people, need to be nurtured and trust has to be earned.
- You have to give love to get love. It is a beautiful, reciprocal relationship.
I can honestly state that the most rewarding gift of having pets around the home is the beautiful “give and take” loving relationships between our pets and each person in our household. We each have a special bond with each of our two dogs and two cats. The pets all have different personalities just as we do and although having pets is hard work, the sweet bonds are well worth it all. It is also so fun and such a joy watching the cats and dogs interact and co-exist together. We consider our pets a part of the family and believe me, they know it.
Is compassion something that can even be taught or is it more of a character trait – you either have it or you don’t? Although the concept is debatable, children who grow up being surrounded by pets are continuously put in positions where they have the responsibility of caring for and showing compassion for another living being who is dependent upon them for their happiness, well-being and sometimes even survival.
Being responsible for this type of care on a regular basis through the formative years of childhood will help develop life-long habits that will surely extend to all living things.
I can’t think of a more rewarding way of teaching compassion to a child than by welcoming a loving pet into the home. Your child will grow up with wonderful loving memories of their childhood pet as well as learning valuable lessons in the process.
So when you are considering all of the positive points of adding a pet to your family, don’t forget about compassion. After all, we can always use more of that in our world.
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